1. Wetsuit fashion tip: Black is the new black.
2. You consider the black pinlines on your white board a bit racy.
3. You have big balls...
4. ...Yet you have shriveled genitalia.
5. In the winter, you don't mind company in the lineup (as long as it's human).
6. Avoiding logs in the surf has nothing to do with longboarders.
7. You actually wait to relieve yourself until your wetsuit is on.
8. Beards: Facial insulatial.
9. In the winter, you look forward to lack of swell.
10. The smell from your booties is an effective form of basement pest control.
Morcheeba - "Wonders Never Cease"