Friday, November 07, 2008

Pipe Dreams

Right around the time the leaves started changing, I was taking a walk through the neighborhood and I stopped by a yard sale. Among the flotsam and jetsam piled on the folding tables--the old books, board games and brick-a-brac--I found a wooden box of worn old pipe bowls. Next to the box was this brass pelican.

I picked up the weighty bird and asked the old man tending to the sale what it was for. "It's a pipe holder!" he barked. The bird's wing had an emblem reading "Daytona Beach, Florida" on it. It turned out that all those old pipes were his father's.

This was literally the same day that my 10-month old had finally started to go to sleep at 7pm, which left me with three full hours of "me time" in the evenings. I could think of nothing better than sitting on my porch with a big glass of red wine (or scotch), a pair of warm slippers, a pipe full of fragrant tobacco and my thoughts.

I bought the pelican and a pipe for $5 bucks.

The first time I smoked it, my wife almost ejected me from our bed, my hair, breath and skin smelled so pungent. She literally asked if I had snuck out to The Tube during the hour that I was outside the house. The next morning, I awoke with a sore throat the feeling that I spent the night licking the floor of a brothel. Not the best way to face a fresh-faced baby.

Since then, the pipe and pelican sit on my desk, a reminder that I can (and will) give it another try. I have to admit that I sometimes chew on the stem when I'm trying to channel Mark Twain... like now for instance... and usually it doesn't work.

Gulf Shores - Palace

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Chum,

You sho am crazy, baby!


-Lamont

tres_arboles said...

That pelican is cool. I have a pipe rest that's a dachshund!

Been liking tobacco for about 25 years now, Rick. Part of your problem was that pipe. If it's old, I doubt it's been well-cleaned. And corncobs are good for nuthin'.

Go downtown to Rich's Tobacco and have one the sexy helper chickies get you into a real briar and a pouch of the goods. For a new pipe guy, I'd recommend a medium cavendish. Your wife will admire that fine aroma, and you the flavor.

Or you could go the route I've gone and try cigars. But then you'll really stink after a smoke, quality or not! :-{

David

Anonymous said...

PuFF TuFF!! But there R far better flavors grown right here in our own backyards. The Greater PDX area leads the green revolution in more ways than one.

Gaz said...

Smoking isn't good for your surfing, jes sayin!

Chum said...

Having babies and living an hour from the coast is even worse for my surfing... :)

David, Rich's was my first stop after buying the pipe. I need to refurbish the vintage wooden pipe bowl (still waiting for them to call me saying it's done)... That's where I got the corn cob. It's like training wheels for pipe-smoking they say.

As for the tobacco, I picked up 20 oz. of "Highland Whiskey" blend. It smells pretty damn good, wafting from my desk drawer!

Anonymous said...

filthy, neurotic habit that won't do a thing for your surfing. get out while you can, your kid will thank you!