Natural Brewers Association

A couple nights ago I was drinking beers with a new friend who said she was a home brewer. She had her beer done — all she needed was a name for it. It's playoff season and I've got basketball on the brain right now, so my mind immediately drifted toward the hardwoods. "You should call it Charles Barley," I said, which got a few laughs from a table full of drunk people who work in the sports biz. That conversation led to a beer-fueled brainstorm, followed by a night filled with dreams where "hops" and "dunkels" meant something a little different.

The next morning, I woke up and wrote everything down. Without further ado, here are the many flavors of the NBA (Natural Brewers Association), where "Every five-pack comes with a sixth man":

Charles Barley
Cream Abdul-Jabeer
Shaquille Oat'meal Stout
Kevin McAle
Kevin McPale Ale
Patrick Brewing
Pilsner Pete
Clyde Drinxler
Bill LamBeer
Terry Porter
Bill Malton (best served Luke warm, like in England)
Brewlius Erving
Amare Stoutemire
Scottie Sippin
Michael Jordan Dunkel
Hakeem I'llgetchawon

Needless to say, I'm dribbling in anticipation of throwing some of these down...