Friday, July 22, 2005

Endless Bummer

In complete defiance of the surf forecast menu, which promised chop suey with cold soup on the side, Gee and I made an evening trek to the beach yesterday. The Oregon reports aren't known for their accuracy, so we took the time-tested "Gotta go to know!" attitude. Spurring us on was the fact that Gee just picked up a second hand Lost Tri-Fish and was itching deflower it.

The first spot we checked, let's call it "Safety Pins," looked halfway decent, but we figured that Short Sands would be better since it's a little more protected from the wild winds of the Northwest. A half-hour later, after hiking down to the beach, we realized that Shorty's was protected a little too well. Popping a can of Busch, we agreed: "Lake Placid." "Placido Domingo." "Flaccidly Placid." And we marched 20 minutes back up to the car.

In the parking lot we ran into our PDX brethren, Kato and Nash. "Placid wash," we reported, saving them the walk. And with that we all headed back to Spot Number One.

Long story short, those halfway decent conditions deteriorated as fast as the dropping tide. I caught a couple short lefts and noticed that if I didn't stay within spitting distance of the sandbar near the rocks I'd get sucked north (as Kato and Gee experienced first-hand). The water was as cold as I've ever felt it any time of year. Peeing in my 5/3 wetsuit did very little to keep me warm. When I got out I found myself whining for the end of "this positively horrid summer" like a teenage girl pining to be re-united with her high school love.

Afterward, we watched the sunset - one that locals swore was the best they've ever seen - and Kato did his best impersonation of the Lifesavers commercial: "Going... going... gone."

Do it again daddy!

Music: Wilderness - "End of Freedom"


Candi said...

So you pee in your wetsuit to stay warm???? Ew. I guess whatever works for you! The susnet sounds awesome. I'm loving seeing pic of you guys...this is so wonderful I can't even tell you! Thanks!

Diane said...

Another beauty, even if the surf was a disappointment. Your pictures are such fun. Better luck next time, which I am sure will be soon.


Whiffleboy said...


Surprisingly enough, most all surfers in full suits "turn on the heater", as we say. Can't exactly paddle back in if you get the urge, ya know? :-)

shitbird said...

You fags need to buy longboards....

Connie said...

Funny entry. I see that you are nicknaming the spots now so as not to give them away. You won't believe how warm the water is out here in Florida. I don't know about the surf conditions, but you certainly wouldn't need to pee to warm up. You'll have to come out sometime...that is, if you can stand the humidity. I am about dying. Thank God for A/C and a refreshing pool to swim in. Love this blog, Rick. And, just for the're not so bad yourself. ;)

Chum said...


I'm looking into buying a longboard. A big pink one. Do they sell those in the Castro? Thanks for the advice, sailor.

As Whiff confirmed, whizzing in the wetsuit is essential to surviving a 4-hour session in ice water. Gee even pees in his wetsuit as he's walking down to the beach. I guess you'd call that "pre-heating."

Connie, I think there is some decent surf out there in Florida. As a matter of fact, I hear longboarding is really big in South Beach -- isn't that right Shitbird?

Candi said...

OK, you seriously crack me up. The comment section of your blog is one of my favorite parts...good stuff. Anyway, listened to Wilderness "End of Freedom" today (at your suggestion). Good stuff...kind of (in a VERY small way) reminds me of the Pixies (hope that doesn't offend you because I freaking love the Pixies). the music suggestion at the end of the entries...I enjoy listening to new stuff.

Chum said...

Damn Candi,

Pixies are probably my fave band of all time. Whiff and I just discussed that in another blog. Glad you like the Wilderness. I have been rocking them a lot lately. They have that early-80s punk vibe mixed with really REALLY good instrumentation. Rock out! Jam out! Etc.