Keep the Tip: How to Turn Like a Sissy

After reading a few Surfer magazines that give detailed instructions on how to do things like boost airs and disengage the fins for tail-slide hacks (which always lose me after the first sentence), I was inspired to do my own version of "tips," Sissyfish style.

1. Chum has actually found a wave to himself, despite the fact that there are 15 guys going after the inside stuff. He's trying to compose himself, keeping his hands below his shoulders and looking ahead to see if this small peeler is indeed going to have a shoulder of its own. He wonders if that Chivas on the rocks last night was such a good idea after two margaritas.

2. Realizing that he'd better stop going straight, he applies a wee bit of pressure to the toe side of his back foot, almost falling over in the process. To regain his balance, he drags his left hand in the face of the wave, which gives the impression (for one frame) that he knows what he's doing.

3. The bottom turn has actually projected our hero a little farther away from the "critical section" than he'd like, so he starts to do a cutback, or at least what he thinks is a fin-humming cutback, pointing with his lead hand where he'd like to go: back to the swim-up bar at the hotel.

4. Notice how Chum has crouched a bit lower here. That's it: the extent of his flexibility. He is unable to get his ass any closer to the board or his knees any nearer to his chest. Doing so would surely pop a hammy, so he counterbalances with both his arms. But, helloooo? What's that coming off the wave behind him? Can anyone say "schralp?" Thank God nobody was back there or they may have been blinded by the spray.

5. Economy of movement is what this next part is all about. Chum hasn't changed his body position at all but somehow has faded back into the mushy pocket. Note how he's completely focused on the next sloping shoulder he's about to destroy.

6. I believe the old Aussie Roo Shampoo bottles said it best: Rinse and repeat, mates.

Put some Roo in your Doo and stay tuned for the next "Keep the Tip" installment, when Chum shows you how to bail your board with style on a closeout section.