Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Keep the Tip: How to Turn Like a Sissy

After reading a few Surfer magazines that give detailed instructions on how to do things like boost airs and disengage the fins for tail-slide hacks (which always lose me after the first sentence), I was inspired to do my own version of "tips," Sissyfish style.

1. Chum has actually found a wave to himself, despite the fact that there are 15 guys going after the inside stuff. He's trying to compose himself, keeping his hands below his shoulders and looking ahead to see if this small peeler is indeed going to have a shoulder of its own. He wonders if that Chivas on the rocks last night was such a good idea after two margaritas.

2. Realizing that he'd better stop going straight, he applies a wee bit of pressure to the toe side of his back foot, almost falling over in the process. To regain his balance, he drags his left hand in the face of the wave, which gives the impression (for one frame) that he knows what he's doing.

3. The bottom turn has actually projected our hero a little farther away from the "critical section" than he'd like, so he starts to do a cutback, or at least what he thinks is a fin-humming cutback, pointing with his lead hand where he'd like to go: back to the swim-up bar at the hotel.

4. Notice how Chum has crouched a bit lower here. That's it: the extent of his flexibility. He is unable to get his ass any closer to the board or his knees any nearer to his chest. Doing so would surely pop a hammy, so he counterbalances with both his arms. But, helloooo? What's that coming off the wave behind him? Can anyone say "schralp?" Thank God nobody was back there or they may have been blinded by the spray.

5. Economy of movement is what this next part is all about. Chum hasn't changed his body position at all but somehow has faded back into the mushy pocket. Note how he's completely focused on the next sloping shoulder he's about to destroy.

6. I believe the old Aussie Roo Shampoo bottles said it best: Rinse and repeat, mates.

Put some Roo in your Doo and stay tuned for the next "Keep the Tip" installment, when Chum shows you how to bail your board with style on a closeout section.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

you just gotta twist your torso more - turn your head and look where you want to go. this will turn your shoulders as well and transfer the forces to your feet, directing the board.

quad?

Daniel said...

Classic! Can't wait for the next tip.

downtownfb said...

i live for open faces and practice spaces. looks like mexico was lots of fun. hope the little vaqueritito is going to bring rows of courderoy water your way...

jess said...

THAT was funny, and is classic - a great response to the SURFER stuff I always roll my eyes at for the normal guy...

pushingtide said...

Nice tips!

Doc said...

I can give tips on how to consume entire six packs of beer on shore because the waves are so weak...

Although it isn't that complicated.

Jack & Carolyn Hudkins said...

"Told with compelling wit and insight the likes of which the world seldom aspires too. The razors edge which is the surfer life blood, unsung, unnoticed but to only a few savants who can truly read 'the spray.' Yes, it's all there to confound yet inspire the human race."

a la howard cosell

great job dude!
best,
jack
aSURFmoment.com

AIBK said...

Are you sure those pics are in the correct order?

seamouse said...

Check out Lynch in Litmus. On a head high J-Bay screamer he does absolutely nothing and makes it look fantastic.
Only when I can make going straight look as good as that will I worry about throwing bigger buckets.

G said...

Slay it, don't spray it.

I'm going to put some of these tips to use tomorrow.

Toddy said...

classic.
I shudder to think that my analogous tip would be "How to Parallel Plant Your Feet for the Long Haul."